A cucumber and a pickle were having a conversation.

The pickle said to the cucumber, "I got it bad man, every time I get big, fat and juicy I get seasoned and put in a jar."

The cucumber said to the pickle, "Well every time I get big, fat and juicy I get chopped up and out over salad."

The penis walks by and overhears them and says, "I got it worse than you both. When I get big, fat and juicy I get put in a dark, smelly room and they make me do push-ups till I throw up."