Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.

You've ever "fudged" the truth at a funeral.

You always read the obituaries.

You've ever suffered anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia Pursuit.

You wonder why people who have some time to kill want to spend it with you.

You get your second wind when you say "And in conclusion?"

The ideas you bounce off board members really do.

Your car tires are balding faster than your head.

You wish someone would steal some of your sheep.

You've seen more religion at a pool hall than you've seen at a Church cricket match.

Your Bible has more side notes than printed text.

"Annual Church Meeting" and "Armageddon" are one and the same to you.

You jiggle all the toilet handles before you leave the church building.