1647
A CHARACTER OF MISTRESS JOANNA SHEPARD
by Thomas Shepard
Electronically Enhanced Text (c) Copyright 1996, World Library(R)
Character of Mistress Joanna Shepard
THE Lord hath not been wont to let me live long without some
affliction or other; and yet ever mixed with some mercy. And
therefore, April the 2d, 1646, as he gave me another son, John, so
he took away my most dear, precious, meek, and loving wife, in
childbed, after three weeks' lying-in; having left behind her two
hopeful branches, my dear children, Samuel and John. This
affliction was very heavy to me; for in it the Lord seemed to
withdraw his tender care for me and mine, which he graciously
manifested by my dear wife; also refused to hear prayer, when I did
think he would have hearkened and let me see his beauty in the land
of the living, in restoring of her to health again; also, in taking
her away in the prime time of her life, when she might have lived
to have glorified the Lord long; also, in threatening me to proceed
in rooting out my family, and that he would not stop, having begun
here, as in Eli, for not being zealous enough against the sins of
his sons. And I saw that if I had profited by former afflictions of
this nature, I should not have had this scourge. But I am the
Lord's, and he may do with me what he will. He did teach me to
prize a little grace, gained by a cross, as a sufficient recompense
for all outward losses.
But this loss was very great. She was a woman of incomparable
meekness of spirit, toward myself especially, and very loving; of
great prudence to take care for and order my family affairs, being
neither too lavish nor sordid in any thing, so that I knew not what
was under her hands. She had an excellency to reprove for sin, and
discern the evils of men. She loved God's people should dearly, and
[was] studious to profit by their fellowship, and therefore loved their
company. She loved God's word exceedingly, and hence was glad she
could read my notes, which she had to muse on every week. She had
a spirit of prayer beyond ordinary of her time and experience. She
was fit to die long before she did die, even after the death of her
first-born, which was a great affliction to her. But her work not
being done then, she lived almost nine years with me, and was the
comfort of my life to me; and the last sacrament before her lying-
in seemed to be full of Christ, and thereby fitted for heaven. She
did oft say she should not outlive this child; and when her fever
first began, by taking some cold, she told me so, that we should
love exceedingly together, because we not live long
together. Her fever took away her sleep; want of sleep wrought much
distemper in her head, and filled it with fantasies and
distractions, but without raging. The night before she died, she
had about six hours' unquiet sleep. But that so cooled and settled
her head, that when she knew none else, so as to speak to them, yet
she knew Jesus Christ, and could speak to him; and therefore, as
soon as she awakened out of sleep, she brake out into a most
heavenly, heart-breaking prayer, after Christ, her dear Redeemer,
for the spirit of life and so continued praying until the last hour
of her death, "Lord, though I [am] unworthy, Lord, one word, one
word," etc.; and so gave up the ghost.
Thus God hath visited and scourged me for my sins, and sought
to wean me from this world. But I have ever found it a difficult
thing to profit even but a little by the sorest and sharpest
afflictions.
THE END
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